Perpisahan

Perpisahan – Anuar Zain Ku mengerti perpisahan ini Bukan kerana kau membenci Tapi kasih yang pernah ku beri Tiada lagi bersama Sering, kala aku terlihatkan mu Impian nan indah bersulam bahagia Ku harungi hari demi hari Bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali Tapi hati masih tak terima Ditinggalkan sengsara Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu Perasaan hati masih rindu Kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku Tercari-cari bayanganmu Tak sanggup aku kehilangan Kehilanganmu… Masih tercari-cari… Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu Masih tercari-cari bayanganmu Tak sanggup aku kehilanganmu

Note : This is how I felt 3 years ago....Org kata tak usah dikenang sejarah lama..tapi hati ini masih lagi terasa. kata-kata yang disebut masih lagi terngiang-ngiang di telinga. Perasaan itu masih segar diingatan. Memori bersama tak pernah luput. Agaknya itulah yang pertama buat hati ini tersentuh begitu sekali.

Memang dia sumber kekuatan, sumber insipirasi..betullah kata-kata "Loving is to let go...". I am letting you go. I hope you will have the happiness and the thing that u have always hope to find for....

He is now one year and six months. next week cukup 7 mths. Cannot speak yet except for
1) mit..mit
2) called ayah
3) called mama
4) cakap nak/tak nak

Other than that he will be speaking his own language. I love him so much. Dia makan mcm org besar sekarang. Tak nak suap nak suap sendiri.

Rasa mcm kejap je..dulu masa dia mula lahir..tak sabar tunggu dia boleh jalan. Skrg dah boleh jalan...tak lama lagi nak jadi abang pulak...

Kalau nak keluar rumah, dia akan salam semua org dalam rumah tu. Selalu perasan yang ayah akan bawak dia jalan bila ayah nak pegi kerja. (kah..kah..) pas tu sedih tgk dia nangis bila pintu ditutup dan dia kena tinggal.

Kalau kata nak jalan suka, terus ambil kasut suruh pakaikan. Boleh duduk dlm car seat. Tapi haqqeem ada satu tabiat, naik kereta je dia nak tidur. Berhenti kereta dia akan bangun.

Skrg nak bawak dia jalan amat meletihkan sbb dia nak jalan ikut haluan dia. bukan ikut haluan kita. Kalau dapat tmpt yg luas..suka. berlari-lari anak dia sekeliling kawasan tu.

My husband said haqqeem ni anak dia yang paling ' baik' sekali..hehehe. Kalau beli mainan kat dia..nanti adalah yg tak kena ngan mainan tu...

kalau part 'mengemas' rumah, serah saja pada haqqeem. mesti dia buat keje tu dgn baik sekali...heheheh

I will be on leave from 29.12.06 to 10.1.07. Cadangnya nak bercuti di Tgganu atau Johor tetapi both dah dilanda banjir. Jadi tak tahu lah pegi ke tak..Harap-harapnya by that time dah surut le sikit. Boleh lah nenek dan tok dia di Tgganu tgk haqqeem.

Raya Haji ni request kat abang nak balik Ipoh. Tak tau le approve ke tak. Tak sabar nak balik Iph. Aku suka sangat balik Ipoh dari semua tmpt. Ni nak balik Tgganu kalau ok tak tau le larat ke tak...

Rasa mcm kandungan kali ni betul-betul letih dan tak de energy. Makan lak very choosy..setakt ni hanya buah dan maggi boleh masuk. benda lain tak boleh. Air...hanya air anab.

i feel so tired. i cannot eat and drink anything except for fruits. Dah dua malam asyik mimpi makanan..first day mimpi makam sup tulang..2nd day mimpi makan laksa dan mcm-mcm.

My so called 'morning sickness' is worst not just morning, afternoon and worst at night. I had gastric which makes it worst. Kdg-kdg muntah ada darah sekali..perut pulak terasa pedih.

Semlm doktor bagi ubat Gelusil for gastric and tahan muntah. Like i can eat pills..haha..dulu masa haqqeem tak mcm teruk mcm ni. yes i did muntah but i can eat certain kind of foods only..i did lose weight last time 10 kg...i forgot how i survive the last time...dulu boleh mkn nasi...ngan kicap je..tapi skrg tgk nasi pun rasa loya...buah je yg rasa ok. Rasa nak mkn masam je tapi perut tak leh tolerate pulak...

Aduhai..i pray that Allah will give me strength and patience to go through this.

Nasib mlm-mlm haqqeem leh main sendiri...biar mama nye tertidur...sayang haqqeem for being understanding...cuma letih nak melayan karenah dia bila nak tukar diaper...
mcm ulat kepanasan..lari nak kena kejar..mama dia tak larat nak main-main...

i felt guilty for him....

Terapi session

Saya merasa sedih semalam. Tapi bukan untuk menceritakan kesedihan saya di sini tapi nak cerita gelagat haqqeem.

Saya pulang lewat dengan mata merah . Terus masuk bilik. Tak nak husband tgk. Dlm bilik saya dudk termenung atas katil. Air mata laju mengalir. Haqqeem nmpk saya lalu menghulur tangan dia sambil memangil “mama…mama…” Dia minta dukung dia. Saya angkat dia dan letak da atas peha saya. Dia pun peluk saya. Saya dpt rasa seolah-olah dia ingin kata “ It’s okay mama. U just had a bad day. Things will be okay..”

Haqqeem selalu mcm tu. Mcm dia tahu bila saya sedih. Dia akan dtg pujuk walaupun dia tak tahu nak berkata apa. Dia akan peluk saya dan tak akan lepas.

Secara psikologinya saya rasa lega. Ini agaknya terapi yg Allah beri pada saya. Hadiah yang tak ternilai….

aku...

aku sedih..

"citer mcm tu pun nak bagitahu kat org..apa punye org la..."

adakah citer-citer aku di blog ni seperti membuka pekung di dada...tapi aku rasa kalau aku stop aku boleh jadi gile...sebab ni tmpt aku luahkan apa yg tersimpan dlm hati aku...

aku heran kenapa tak boleh jadi supportive..kenapa nak jadi pengkritik...tak de yg kena..asyik tak kena...

Kata-Kata Motivasi...

MElepaskan diri

Bulan Februari yang lepas abang saya (keluarga sebelah Ipoh) bagi safety gate kepada kami. Dia dah tak guna sebab anak dia dah besar. Pada mulanya memang saya cadang utk beli sebab haqqeem pada masu tu dah mula nak merangkak ke dapur. Jadi memang rezeki haqqeemlah.

Bila sampai di rumah, ayah pun pasang tapi malangnya tak cukup lebar utk ruang diantara dapur dan living room. Ayah pun tambah dengan kayu jadi ruang tepi sebelah kanan dan kiri besar sikit. Tak pe lah. Haqqeem tak lepas kot.

Jadi ni lah gambar di masa beberapa bulan lepas :-



Gambar di atas haqqeem nangis minta dilepaskan...

Semalam, dia dah boleh tahu yang ruang di tepi tu muat untuk dia lalu. Saya peratikan dia dari dapur. Sebab sebelum tu dia lepas ke dapur. Saya ingat saya lupa tutup gate..bila diperiksa gate bertutup. Macamana dia boleh lepas...Rupanya ....



...muat dia lalu. Dia boleh ngiringkan badan dia sampai dia lepas. Dia dah try usha kat tengah tak lepas..pas tu dia merangkak ke tepi..lepas...sabarje saya masa tu...


(berjaya lepaskan diri)..


oo...mcm ni dia lepaskan diri. Pas tu bagitahu ayah. ayah gelak je. Ayah kata nanti dia carikan tali utk buat additional palang. heheh

Itulah cite anak bujang saya ni..

Projek meminang dan citer si bulat....

Hari Sabtu yg lalu (15.4.2006), kami mengikut anak saudara saya (keluarga saya sebelah Terengganu) pergi merisik + meminang di pekan Rembau, Negeri Sembilan. Kami bawa 7 dulang. Janjinya pukul 10 pagi tunggu di tol Senawang. Tapi 10.30 pagi bayang anak saudara saya tak nampak lagi. Pukul 11 pagi barule nampak muka. Rupa-rupanya member baru nak ambil kek. Adik Ipar saya yg berasal dari pahang(suami adik saya seblah keluarga di Terengganu) yg jadi wakil pihak sini atas sebab masalah komunikasi.

Perbincangan diadakan dengan penuh adat. Saya tak berapa faham adat Negeri Sembilan. Masa tu adalah mereka terangkan mereka dari puak yg mana. Ada empat puak semuanya. Bakal tunang anak saudara saya adalah satu-satunya nak perempuan mereka. Patut lah mereka buat grand. Dengar cerita sampai tumbanglah lembu seekor. Siap ada khemah lagi. Macam kenduri kahwin. Anak saudara saya bagi satu cincin merisik, sebentuk cincin pertunangan dan gelang tangan. Mereka kata sekiranya terjadi putus tunang dari pihak perempuan mereka akan ganti 2 kali ganda. Kalau dari pihak lelaki, kira burn lah.

Lepas persetujuan syarat, kami beralih kepada topik hantaran dan perbelanjaan lain. Seronok juga mendengar perbincangan itu. Saya baru 1st time dengar perbincangan sebegini secara dekat. (Terukkan saya...;)Then barulah acara menyarung cincin tu diadakan. Kakak saya sebelah Terengganu kata rupa bakal tunang anak saudara saya macam saya. Ye ke? hehe..Adik beradik saya sebelah sana semuanya 'sihat-sihat' belaka. Jadi saya katalah 'welcome to the club'....Kira tunang anak saudara saya dah masuk 'club' kami lah...heheh

Saya cuti dari hari jumaat hingga isnin. Hari selasa (18.4.06) baru masuk kerja. 4 hari cuti, seronok dok rumah melayan karenah sibulat ni...Hari Selasa yg lalu, dia cuba utk memanjat kotak yg terletak depan tv. Kotak tu kosong jadi dia pun terperosok ke dalam. Menjerit dia. heheh..kelakar lak saya tgk...(jahat saya ni bukan nak tolong keluarkan..siap boleh ambik phone dulu tangkap gambar dia...)




Kami letak kotak tu supaya dia tak main CD-CD yg terletak di bawah cabinet tv. Tak sangka dia nak panjat lak. Sejak tu dia tak panjat lagi...ingat lak dia terperosok ke dalam.

Haqqeem skrg dah tak ingat nak jalan dlm walker lagi. Saya dah tak letak dia dalam walker dah dekat 2 bulan sebab hari tu saya nampak dia nak panjat keluar. Semlm ayah dia cuba lah letak dalam walker tu, dia tak gerak pun. Lama-lama dia nangis minta dikeluarkan. Keluarkan, wah ligat balik lah dia. Merangkak sampai ke bawah meja, berdiri di sisi katil..berjalan sambil paut pada katil tu...ayah kata..hah tu buas tu nak kena letak dlm walker balik ni....hehehe

Kisah di suatu pagi

Perbualan ngan driver teksi tadi membuatkan saya terfikir.

Cerita bermula bila dia beritahu saya yg dia dah tak seronok bawak teksi. Tidak seperti masa dia mula-mula bawak teksi dahulu. Kerana ingin tahu saya tanya dia apa yg seronok sangat bawak teksi? Dia kata dia rindu masa dia dan kawan-kawan. Pukul 7 lebih dia hantar anak dan isteri dia. Lepas tu dia bawak teksi smp kul 10 mlm. Selepas tu dia akan berkumpul ngan kawan-kawan teksi yg lain di kedai dan minum-minum sambil berborak hingga pukul 1 pagi. Sehingga 3 tahun rutin dia begitu sehinggalah dia dapat tahu yg isteri dia 'bermain kayu tiga'.

Dia mula bercerita kisah isteri dia yg gila chatting. Sudah setahun lebih baru dia dapat tahu. Satu hari, dia terjaga dari tidur dan dapati yg isteri dia bercakap dgn seseorg dlm telefon dan waktu ketika itu dah 2 pagi. Dia bertanya dan isteri dia hanya kata kawan sekerja. Abang tak payah lah ambil tahu. Jawapan isteri dia buat dia tak puas hati. Dia desak dan siasat sehinggalah isteri dia mengaku yg dia berchatting sehingga ke peringkat berjumpa dengan chatter tersebut. Bukan perempuan tapi lelaki.

Dia kata dia terima ini sebagai dugaan. Mungkin salah dia juga kerana kurang meluangkan masa bersama keluarga. Dia cadang beri isteri dia peluang kedua. Isteri dia minta maaf atas perbuatan dia dan mula hidup baru demi anak-anak mereka.

Cerita dia buat saya terfikir...Sbg seorg isteri saya risau suami saya akan jadi mcm isteri dia. Saya tak terfikir pula akan diuji sebegitu..maksud saya berkenalan dgn lelaki lain dikala saya bergelar seorg isteri. Kalau terjadi, kuatkah saya? KAlau terjadi pada suami saya, sanggupkah saya beri dia peluang kedua? Hanya Allah yang tahu. Saya hanya mampu berdoa semoga perkahwinan saya kekal hingga ke akhir hayat.

Saya masih ingat masa saya bujang dahulu. Saya begitu sukar dan lambat bertemu jodoh. Di kala saya bersedia menjadi seorang isteri, Allah duga saya. Org yg saya nak jadi suami saya berpisah ngan saya. Saya jadi frust...niat saya baik...nak dirikan masjid dan saya berazam ketika itu..saya nak jadi isteri yg baik bila saya dapat jodoh.

Kawan sepejabat saya pernah nasihat saya yg saya ingat smp sekarang :-

"Dlm hidup ni apa yang mesti kita buat ialah niat kita mesti lah kerana allah..niat baik kita sudah dikira amalan...tapi kalau kita tak dpat benda yag kita nak tu..Allah dah tentukan....kita tak boleh kata kenapa kita dah buat dan berdoa semua tapi tak dapat juga.....berdoa tu sebenarnya Allah nak bagi umatnya lebih dekat dan mengharap pada Allah. dimana semua tu dah dikira amalan.......

KITA MINTA APA YANG KITA NAK, TAPI ALLAH BAGI APA YANG KITA PERLU....

samalah dlm kes feena ni...feena dah minta, semua tu niat feena adalah baik..nak kawin, nak jadi isteri yg baik ,tak nak selamanya dok kawan sajer....niat baik feena tu sebenarya dah dikira amalan...tapi Allah yg lebih mengetahui siapa jodoh feena sebenarya........jadi feena teruskan hidup ni dengan terus berdoa & beramal & berikhtiar sambil bersabar dengan apa yang Allah bagi dugaan utk kita...isyallah akan ada kebaikan nyer nanti....."

8 bulan kemudian saya bertemu jodoh ngan suami saya. Setelah bergelar isteri, baru saya tahu mengapa Allah buat begitu pada saya. Bukannya senang menjadi isteri yg baik...saya masih berazam utk kotakan apa yg saya cuba jadi. Semoga Allah kuatkan kesabaran dalm diri saya...dan juga mudahkan jalan saya utk jadi isteri yg diredhai suami.

Kalau saya curiga ke pada suami saya...saya sms kat dia " Abang, feena masih sayangkan perkahwinan ini. Feena harap kita masih boleh beri kejujuran dan kesetiaan kita bagi rumahtangga kita. Bagi pihak feena, selagi minda ini masih waras, Insyaallah nafsu yg 9 ini masih boleh dikawal.... "

Tak de apa yg saya harap pada perkahwinan ini selain dari apa yg saya katakan di atas. Bukan rumah yg besar, harta benda yg banyak..hanya teman di kala susah dan senang sehingga akhir hayat...itu je harapan saya...

Weekend Gateway

Over the week i find myself missing something but i dun't know who....

So suddenly saturday afternoon i received a call...

" Guess where are we"
" Kat mana? How would i know? Ala..cakaplah...."
" Papa ada kat sini lah. Nak ambil ina so we decided to bermalam kat Intekma Resort. Abg nak dtg mlm ni belanja makan"

Unfortunately, hubby has to report work at 11pm. Nasib dia bagi me and haqqeem pegi. Abang ambil me and haqqeem and went to Intekma Resort.Then we gp for dinner at Padang Jawa. Best gak restoran tu. Makanan was sedap and fast. Haqqeem was happy with his nite out. Lepas makan abang nak balik with the family. I naik with papa and umi and adik-adik went back to Intekma Resort. However, the lift broke down and they have to call the cntractor from KL. Umi could not walk up the stairs sbb her condition (which i will story later)...so Papa asked for a change of room. He were angry because we have to change rooms and we got breakfast for free the next day.

Haqqeem pun good boy tak meragam. Dia kalau dapat jalan happy sangat. Berulang alik lah my sister bawak bag-bag. Kesian mereka. We were not sleeping until 11.30 pm. We got a room sama building ngan registration counter. The building which we wre earlier was mcm desserted. Siang tu agaknya ada conference and food left over tak kemas pun. Ni kalau at my workplace dah siap kena bambu nih...and they all rilek jer...

This second room apartment is much nicer and well taken care of. Room Apartment ada 2 bilik, living room, 2 veranda, and a kitchen.

Try to post the pictures here tak boleh pulak. Will upload when its okay.

Bestnye kalau dapat rumah mcm ni...tapi i don't know whether i can live like this or not. I am seorang yg takut sunyi...my house now ada jiran-jiran yg dtg berborak...ada org lalu lalang..so tak takut sgt...

Haqqeem tidur nyenyak semlman...Dia happy dapat jalan...merangkak keluar bilik..dari ruang tamu ke bilik...main-main ngan mama rin dan mama na nye...

By tghari papa balik dari golf game dia and took us out for lunch kat restoran nasi campur.Haqqeem makan nasi and sup. pas lunch papa sent us home.

I think what i miss was time spent with my family. Balik tu i felt lega seolah-olah baru dapat jumpa org yg dah lama tak jumpa....

ni first time haqqeem dapat tidur hotel..tapi lebih mcm rumah lah...dia pun happy dpt jalan-jalan...Intekma Resort tu ok kalau dia up kan service dia dan pihak pengurusan jaga elok-elok aprtment dia....tapi skrg blok-blok yg blkg tu mcm terbiar jer....

Today, Monday Haqqeem dah start nak batuk. Dia pun asyik cirit birit. Mungkin kerana semlm haqqeem makan sup kat restoran nasi campur tu kot. Mama dah rasa tak pedas. Itu je yg mama boleh fikir haqqeem makan. Yg lain adalah menu rutin dia. Tghari tadi haqqeem nangis je dok melentik-lentik badan. Mesti sakit perut. Petang tadi mama bawak haqqeem gi klinik. Dr bagi 4 mcm ubat-ubat cirit, ubat sakit perut, ubat kahak dan ubat batuk. Nasib skrg haqqeem dah ok makan ubat. Hanya pegang tangan, menyungut tapi telan gak ubat tu....hehehe


I hope haqqeem will get better tommrow...Risau mama tgk haqqeem merengek sakit perut

School Memories- Tagged Again!!!

I have been tagged by aidura....thanks aidura. 2 x kena. Well, here goes ...







1) How many schools did I go to?
Let's count :

i) Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Rawang (1981)
I forgot the name as I was here only in Standard 1. Pas tu my father have to moved to Taiping, Perak.

ii) Sekolah Rendah Convent Klian Pauh, Taiping Perak (1982 to 1986)
Here, I spent my childhood and I have great memories here. Lots of friends and I don't know where they are now.

iii) Sekolah Menengah Sultan Abdul Aziz Shah, Kajang Selangor (1987 to 1991)
My father had to moved again. My school was really far from home in Cheras. 30 mins from house. Ada bas sekolah. Sini I mula libatkan diri dlm bola jaring, kebudayaan...belajar menari tarian tradisional u..heheh and mula kenal apa itu abang angkat..ghehehehe.
At first, I want a all girls school, tapi tak dapat. But it was the best i guess. Mcm - mcm org i met here. Ramai gak my friends yg tak contactable dah skrg...try to find them but i lost some of their phone numbers....

Itu je lah the schools i did go to..3 je ek...

2) Was I the studious nerd, or the last minute hero ?

I am definetely last minute nye study type. I have short memory span...so i have trouble remebering facts kalau study awal..except for calculation nye subjects such as Maths, Prinsip Akaun...

3) Was I the class 'taiko' (don't care macho attitude is what I pressume it would mean in Eng)/ or teacher's pet ?

I guess neither. I don't like to stand out or be someone pet....

4) What was the biggest rule I broke in school ?

Apa ye...tak de rasanya....

5) 3 subjects I enjoyed

Mathematics, English and Prinsip Akaun

6) 3 teachers that inspired me

i) Cikgu Rosli - he is handsome and a good stroy teller. That year he was teacher History. He
made me love history. The way he teaches like u are listening to a story...best...

ii) My statistic lecturer- sorry i forgot the name...can this be included tak?
Dia ajar memang best. Kalau bab transportation..ke kita kena lukis map of the operasi...ala
yg operasi d akan dijalankan selepas operasi C...dia pandai lukis smpi muat satu board tu...

iii) Itu je kot....yg i ingat...my fav...


Well I hope this entry does not bored anyone of u...Anyway, have a nice weekend.

Update all day this week...

Dear all,

my apoligize if i did not reply any of u coz i have been busy this week.

Sunday 2.4.06

Early in the morning we went to visit my sister kat Uitm. Ni dia kat sebelah. She is taking Pra Undang-Undang. Next sem, insyaallah she will be in Year One.

Lepas tu suddenly, mu hubby nak pegi pasar besar sungai buloh....drive le dia begitu jauh perjalanan (i rasa)...haqqeem was sleeping all the way. Smp sana tak de lah best sgt mcm dia claim. Dia pun last pegi dah lama. Dia kata dulu best. Mcm ni setakat pasar kat PJ lagi happenning. Ikan yg dijual pada pendapat aku agak mahal berbanding ngan KL. I bought talapia and jenahak. And also other sayurs for weekly usage. Then we go outside the market, jalan-jalan. it was renyai-renyai. Beli kuih and ate in the car.

Bila balik, my MIL ajak lunch rumah dia sbb dia nak masak siput sedut. I am not good at makan siput sedut.. i have skill problem in seduting the siput...;) , kepala pun berdenyut-denyut tak tahu kenapa. So idecided to baring jap and ask my hubby to go with haqqeem.

"Mama tak nak makan lah...sakit kepala pulak"...

Petang tu bila hubby balik dari MIL's house, haqqeem demam. Badan dia panas. Bawak g jumpa dr and bagi ubat. Haqqeem nak demam apa pulak...mama pun demam juge.
Malam tu dia merengek-rengek. Tak nak tidur...susu pun tak nak..nak mama jer...tak nak ayah. Mama tak sihat..tapi gagah kan juge la dukung dan dodoikan dia to sleep. Letak je dia nangis...dia nak tidur atas badan mama..letihnye i..could not sleep well...

3.4.06 - Monday


Haqqeem cried the whole day. He refuse the milk. Hanya bagi dia makan and minum air glucose jer...Kejap-kejap nangis..mama langsung tak boleh masak. I eat roti..then kena dukung dia bawak jalan-jalan. Nak gi toilet pun dia nangis...nak berkepit jer....

Ayah balik..mama minta pasangkan buai...barulah haqqeem nak tidur...lama haqqeem tidur dlm buai. Kalau dia sakit, mesti dia nak berdodoi..fuhh..lega nya i...boleh tidor sekali...i was too tired to cook and not feeling well..my body was aching all over...hubby volunteer masak capati and kuah sardin. ...Best gak...

Menjelang malam, dia dah okay sikit . Perut dia kembung masuk angin sbb dia refuse to milk...jadi i bagi dia Dentinox. Berangin sikit..kentut jer dia....baru le dia nak main-main...and mlm tu dia merengek tapi tak kerap..mula menyusu tapi tak kerap..2 botol jer...

4.4.06 - Tuesday

I have to go to Putrajaya today to renew our Chef's visa. Dia janji nak ambik kat rumah with her wife. Haqqeem pagi-pagi dah nagis nak dukung jer....dia buat balik pernagai dia..tak nak letak..mama nak mandi and bersiap pun tak boleh...letak sebelah mama pun tak boleh dia nagis...nangsi jerit-jerit smp kuar air mata...hai..anak ku sorang ni....maybe dia tak sedap badan kot..jadi nak berkepit jer la....

Pas anta dia kat rumah my MIL, my chef datang and we went to Putrajaya. The counter was tersusun and it was organised. Not like last time kat Pusat Bandar Damansara. Skrg although the travel distance is further and takes longer time, tapi rasa lebih organize. Kalau dulu, dgn all the foreigner yg nak minta extn, tunggu sekali..ada yg bawak anak kecil, berkampung di immigression. Skrg tak de and u can waith comfortably. I mean the hall lapang and kaunter pun lebih banyak. Tak bersesak.

We finished around 2pm and decided to take our lunch. After that we headed to our office.We reach the office around 4pm and i was really tired today.

tonight i started not feeling well, my fever start and i have a bad swolen tonsils....

5.4.06 - Wednesday

I went to our panel clinic minta a good antibiotik for my fever..it keep coming back, The doctor said it is because of my swollen tonsils that is why i have fever. He gave me a good antibitic, liquid to gargle, ada ubat hisap to relieve the swolen tonsils, and also Panadol.

The bill- RM67. I was shocked...My company only supports RM30 and the balance i have to top up.

I got Medical leave for the day and went home. Took my medicine and sleep the whole day. Badan sakit-sakit lak....

Haqqeem still tak nak menyusu....risaulah mama. Dia hanya nak makan dan minum air masak jer...

6.4.06 - Thursday

Today went to work and feel a bit ok. My tonsils dah kurang rasa sakit. Bagus lah ubat tu...berbaloi lah bayar mahal pun....

This morning I decided to go to my fav stall. It is a small stall, tapi service dia bagus.


For those who to see my flat, gambar tak clear tapi inilah rumah kami..kecik tapi cukup lah utk kami bertiga.









This view is taken from where i wait for my transportation (bus, taxi..anytthing i see first) to go to work every morning. My house tingkat atas sekali (Tingkat 5) and we have no lift. Jadi tiap-tiap hari naik dan turun tangga.

Nothing happening today cuma semalam i hear my bos marah benar pasal our dept's attendance and puntuality....

And suddenly i was told to be pendakwa for an inquiry held at the office. So much i want to gather the experience, tapi also i don't feel confident. Dah lah short notice and tommorow the inquiry....

Ya allah, semoga dipermudahkan....

7.4.06-Friday

Today, I have to submit deparmental monthly report. Nasib sempat habiskan seblm kul 12 pm. Selepas tu, study all the material for the inquiry.

Alhamdulillah, the inquiry went well and it is a win-win situation. I am happy for the accused. I hope he regret what happen and open a new chapter. Antara good advice i learnt today :-

1) Kita jangan terlalu mengikut perasaan marah, bykkan beristiqamah
2) Bersyukurlah dgn apa yg kita ada skrg, keadaan org lain lebih teruk. allah tahu apa yg baik utk diri kita.
3) Hidup ini memang sentiasa akan ada dugaan. Ini semua untuk jgn bagi kita lupa dan menjadi kita lebih matang dan redha.
4) Bukan manusia yg beri rezeki pada kita, Allah yg beri rezeki. Mintalah pada Nya.

Satu peringatan untuk diru ku yg mudah alpa ini....

7 weird habit - kena tag

Like syikin, everyday morning i would read all the blogs yg i suka baca then i start to do other thins. Today, I read safurah...then i saw my name at the bottom of her entri..i want to tag...mamafynn.

Thanks Safura.

Well here goes,

1) Bila tgk horror movies, instead of closing my eyes, i would close my ears.

Reason : Sbb bila tutp mata dgr lagu/background sound tu yg buat lagi takut. Ada satu masa dulu, all my friends dah tengok Nang Nak (Citer seram Thailand) and i was curious to see. Jadi i saw alone and suara tu i mute kan. Tak de lah takut sangat bila tgk citer hantu tak de suara.

2) Suka smell handiplast- yg cloth type
This one i don't know why. Dari mengandung smp skrg i suka sgt. Masa mengandung lagi suka. I had to buy and purposely put on my hand so i can smell it. ;) Mcm bantal busuk tu...tapi handiplast busuk...heheheh

3) I like to read when doing my business.
Tak kisah lah baca apa pun, sms pun jadi. Kdg-kdg kalau kat rumah sblm ada haqqeem, baca botol shampoo lah...tapi skrg tak boleh lagi....haqqeem memekak kat luar...;)

4) Makan ubat ngan air berperisa.
Org kata tak elok tapi nak wat camana. Kalau tak tak leh telan....

5) Like to read catalog
Tak kisah lah catalog apa...Tesco ke, Carrefour ke, Makro ker, Direct selling nye buku pun ok gak....suka tgk gambar

6) Rubber band kat tgn
Suka kutip rubber band then letak kat tangan. Tabiat ni my anak sedara aiman dah terikut...hehehe

7) Suka beli jam tangan RM 9.90.
Weird ke ni? Or addicted ? heheheh

Ok sape ek nak tag...tak tahu sape yg selalu baca i punye blog...

i nak tag

1) Izhal
2) Syikin
3) Arena
4) atrco

Anak sedaraku...

I have to take care of them after work till 9.30pm. When I am off, they spend the whole day at my house. They call me mama but actually i am just their makcik sedara. They are my BIL's children. Yg lelaki namanya aiman (4 y.o) Hyperactive child i would consider. Tak leh dok diam kecuali kena marah ngan i. Kalau pukul dia, dia akan naik 'hantu' and panggil org semua ngan bad names. Yg perempuan namanya aisya (6 y.o). Dia dulu kecik nakal gak, tapi dah besar kurang sikit. Penakut. Still tak boleh pakai kasut ngan betul. Kaki kiri selipar kanan and otherwise. Aiman cerdik sikit, berdikari tapi tu lah....nakal. Baru-baru ni, dia campak kucing kepunyaan jiran kami ke bawah. Nasib tak mati....Kena marah ngan saya. Tak tahulah nak approach macamana biar dia ingat. Saya kata tak baik campak benda yg hidup. Dia ada roh. nanti dia marah dan jadi hantu kacau aiman. Saya kata aiman kena belajar hormat barang kepunyaan orang lain.

Anak saya haqqeem tinggal bersama my MIL bila saya gi keje. Mereka pun tinggal sana sbb my BIL lives with his mother. Antara harta /toys kepunyaan anak saya yg dah rosak dikerjekannya :-

1) Walker - patah (dia cabut skru kat tayar)
2) Trumpet - dia dismantle the parts
3) Handphone mainan- dia pecahkan

Sejak tu saya stop letak mainan dalam beg my son. Saya cuma bekalkan yg aiman tak minat nak main.

Saya kata kat dia.."mama tulis semua toys adik (my son dia panggil adik) yg aiman dan aisha rosakkan. Esok aiman besar, aiman kena bayar. Nanti kakak dan aiman dah besar, kakak akan lebih kaya dari aiman. Dia dapat beli kereta sbb dia tak rosakkan barang org. Aiman pula, habis duit asyik membayar ganti rugi barang orang yg aiman dah rosakkan. "

Dia pun kata " Ala tak nak lah, aiman nak beli kereta juge "

" Jadi jgnlah rosakkan barang orang " Saya kata.

Saya harap dia akan grow out of dia punya nakal. Tak tau bila. Dia tak takut ngan ayah dan nenek dia. Yang boleh marah dia is my husband. Kalau my husband marah dia, baru lah senyap jer ;)

Trip To Malacca

It'z been so long since i update my blog...mugkn sbb tak de apa yg berlaku dlm hidup i...it is just the same routine...

Last weekend we went to my husband's grandmother house. Rumah nenek dia is the old malacca's village house yg ada serambi, ada tempt duduk depan tangga and also ada tempat yg simpan brg kat atas umah tu apa panggil nye polong...ntah le..(ala, tmp yg pontianak suka lepak and jenguk tu kalau dlm filem seram lah..hehe). I suka design rumah dia..tapi dah diperbaharui nye version. Meaning dah tambah sikitlah belakang tu...bhgian dapur and toilet dlm rumah. Dulu-dulu diaorang mandi kat perigi and toilet pun kat luar rumah. I suka lepak rumah nenek dia tapi apa yg i tak suka if we all bermalam di situ. Rumah nenek dia berhadapan dengan kubur cina. Minggu tu plak, cina-cina ni ada acara pemujaan hantu..ala diaorg dtg melawat kubur and bawa duit-duit kertas utk dibakar. Siap ada yang bakar mercun lagi. Mlm tu to tell the truth i tak boleh tidur...takut...nak buat susu anak pun i tak tgk around..bulu roma pun meremang jer...dlm hati cepat lah siang...

I am glad to be back home. Semlm hubby kata bila pencen kita dok sana lah? and i said tak nak lah...kalau kawasan perumahan nak lah...ini depan kubur...not my way of spending my old days there....rumah dia best cuma kawasan dia tak sesuei...i lebih rela dok sorang kat sini...;)..hehe bole ker?

Petua Mencuci Hati oleh Datuk Dr Haji Fadzilah Kamsah

Segala aspek kehidupan ini bermula daripada hati. Oleh itu di bawah ini ada beberapa cara bagaimana hendak mencuci hati. Diolah oleh pakar motivasi Datuk Dr. Haji Fadzilah Kamsah.

1) Dirikan solat dan banyakkan berdo'a - Ini adalah salah satu
kaedah yang sungguh berkesan. Semasa berdo'a turut katakan "Ya,Allah jadikan hatiku bersih"

2) Selawat keatas Nabi Muhammad s.a.w paling minima 100 X
sebelum tidur, Ini merupakan satu pelaburan yang mudah dan murah. Disamping
dosa-dosa diampunkan, otak tenang, murah rezeki, orang sayangkan kita dan mencetuskan semua perkara kebaikan.
3) Solat taubat - Selain daripada memohon keampunan, dapat
mencuci hati dan menenangkan minda.

4) Membaca Al-Quran - Selain dapat mencuci hati juga
menenangkan jiwa, penyembuh, penenang, terapi. Sekurang-kurangnya bacalah "Qulhu-allah" sebanyak 3X.

5) Berma'af-ma'afan sesama kawan setiap hari - Semasa meminta maaf perlu sebutkan.

6) Bisikan kepada diri perkara yang positif - Jangan sesekali mengkritik, kutuk diri sendiri, merendah-rendahkan kebolehan diri sendiri. katakan lah "Aku sebenarnya......(perkara yang elok-elok belaka)

7) Program minda/cuci minda - Paling baik pada waktu malam
sebelum tidur, senyum, pejam mata, katakan di dalam hati "Ya, Allah cuci otak
aku, cuci hatiku, esok aku nak jadi baik, berjaya, ceria, bersemangat,
aktif, positif". Menurut kajian saikologi, apa yang disebut sebelum
tidur dapat dirakamkan sepanjang tidur sehingga keesokan harinya -
CUBALAH!!

8) Berpuasa - Sekiranya dalam berpuasa terhindar dari melakukan perkara-perkara kejahatan.

9) Cuba ingat tentang mati (Sekiranya hendak melakukan sesuatu kejahatan, tidak sampai hati kerana bimbang akan mati bila-bila masa)

10) Kekalkan wuduk

11) Bersedekah

12) Belanja orang makan.

13) Jaga makanan - jangan makan makanan yang subhat

14) Berkawan dengan ulama

15) Berkawan dengan orang miskin (menginsafi)

16) Pesan pada orang, jadi baik

17) Menjaga pacaindera (mata, telinga, mulut...dsb), jangan dengar orang mengumpat.

Daily routine....

This morning haqqem is getting better. Nafas dia dah ok skit. I notice kalau bagi dia makan ubat pas dia bangun tido...dia senang nak telan..mulut siap nganga lagi. Agaknya dia mamai, ingat mama suap apa. Haqqeem ada 4 ubat- ubat lelah (ventolin syrup - kale putih), ubat batuk - kale hitam, ubat selsema - kale merah dan ubat antibiotik - mcm susu.

This weekend is just me and him because hubby had to work tommorow from 7am to 7pm. BTW, my hubby works shift. He has 3 shifts - 7am to 3pm, 11pm to 7am, 3pm to 11pm. This week dia shift petang. The shift changes weekly. Tapi starting esok till Khamis dia kena report 7am to 7pm. Bila dia shift malam, hanya tinggal me and haqqeem tidur berdua. I am a 'penakut' person. Jadi tv on 24 hrs, lampu bilik and ruang tamu pasang....Kadang-kadang kalau my husband's eldest son ada main komputer, boleh lah jadi peneman. Kalau dia ada dia balik rumah ibu dia pukul 3 pagi mcm tu.. Ok lah..hanya ada 2 jam je berdua...i wake up at 5.30am or 6am daily.

My routine daily weekdays :-

5.30am to 7.30 am
- Kutip all Haqqeem's feeding bottle from last night menyusu. He oftens wake up every 2 hours utk menyusu.
- Panaskan air
- Panaskan or prepare meal haqqeem ( 2 meals for breakfast and lunch)
- Sidai kain (Every 2 days once)
- Gosok baju gi keje (I only get idea nak pakai baju in the morning...;)
- Mandi
- Sembahyang subuh
- Haqqeem wake up at 6.30 am or paling lewat 7am i tukar diapers dia..
- Then i prepare susu and air kosong dalam botol dia put in the bag.
- Sebelum keluar pas bagi dia makan ubat then sapu vicks kat dada.
- Then off we go to my MIL's house.

My MIL's house is a stair away from my house. My house di Tingkat 5 ( We have no lift ), jadi setiap pagi i akan turun tangga then naik tangga yg lain hingga tingkat 5 to my MIL's house.

7.30 am
Off to work.

6.00 pm
Back from work

7.00 pm
Pick up Haqqeem (only if my hubby works afternoon shift) Kalau tak dia akan amik Haqqeem.

7.10 pm
Panaskan makanan Haqqeem for dinner
Change his diapers
Take bath
Sembahyang maghrib
Cook for dinner (Simple meal je...mcm all the goreng-goreng mee/meehoon/milidi..etc..or sup or paling senang roti and sardin...;)..did i mention my hubby is a fan of roti...;)

8.00 pm
Bagi haqqeem makan sambil tgk berita
I makan
Basuh pinggan
Angkat kain
Vaccum - 2 days once
Mop - 2 days once

10.30 pm or 11.00 pm
Lipat kain - this job is done only bila haqqeem dah tidor.
Simpan all the toys.
Kemas all the bags (me and him...)
And mama pun tido.....

Kadang-kadang i tak lipat kain pun kalau letih...esoknya baru lipat. Nasib i don't have to gosok my husband baju kerja. He oftens wear t-shirt and change to his uniform bila dah smp tempat kerja...

Well, that's my routine every day...

The Lift

Someone Forwarded me this email...i like the final paragraph....;)

The Lift

People are often unreasonable,
Illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
You will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
Someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
They may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
People will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
And it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
It is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.

Babyfood

Today nafas haqqeem berbunyi lagi. Kena sedut gas ...kena marah ngan doktor sebab bwk dia lambat. But he looks okay despite his difficulty to breathe. Nak agah-agah orang..siap agah doktor tu..tapi nafas tercungap-cungap...

I have to prepare 2 meals now for haqqeem. Dia dah tak nak makan nestum. So with ummi help i prepared Yummy cous-cous. Tapi tak sempat nak tangkap gambar. Tak tau la dia suka ke tidak.

Semalam i prepared lentil puree. Dia suka sgt. Kalau buat sup cair sgt, so i decided buat pekat sikit...

The recipe is like :-

- Red lentil
- Potatoes
- Bwg putih
- garlic
- cummin powder

Tumis Bwg putih and merah. Then masukkan lentils and potatoes. Masukkan air and add dashes of serbuk jintan manis.
Bila dah pekat and potatoes soft boleh pureekan dan bagi mamam.

Dia makan and he liked it. Esok nak bagi makan apa lak ye...Ummi blog on the momanddadwho cooked really inspired me to cook babyfood and also for family meals.

I am not good at cooking tapi i also tak tahu malu punya org. Keep on asking walau silly question. Bolehlah masak untk my family makan...ingat dulu masa i met my husband..i confess siang-siang...i memang tak tahu masak. and dia kata tak pe lah...kita masak lauk tunjuk tunjuk je lah...smp skrg dia tak force me to cook...but i want to cook..despite his comments lah..(ehem....)

So what's for tonite..my gum is infected so i am on soft food diet...and apa ye nak masak utk haqqeem for tommorow?...hmmm

Sedih rasa kalau kita dichop 'no brain' oleh orang. Saya rasa org yg employ org yg 'no brain' tu ada brain ka ? Mesti secara logik org yg ada brain ni takkan nak ambik org yg 'no brain' kan.....

It is really demotivating if you hear something that can demotivate u...semangat rasa dah berkobar-kobar..tiba-tiba.....

Dlm hati kata..ahhh buat ape aku bertungkus lumus kalau dichop 'no brain'..kita pun buat le mcm 'no brain' punye level....

Tapi ada lak kata tunjjukan pada yg ada brain ni...org yg 'no brain' ni boleh buat keje lagi bagus dari ko..hahah..tu reverse pyschology...

Ahh..ade setengah org nafsu lebih ..susah nak dipuaskan...dia puas dpt maki org..dia puas tgk org jatuh...dia puas...

Panjat jgn tak panjat

Dulu my fren pernah cakap, to climb the corporate ladder kena :-

1. pandai cakap versi yg sedap didengar oleh bos
2. bahas balik dlm versi yg sedap didengar oleh bos
3. angguk dlm cara angguk yg sedap dipandang oleh bos
4. bodek pakai sistem ampu yang paling tak dpt dikesan oleh bos

The apprentice mcm tu ker? ;)

Hak untuk memaafkan

Ada suatu hari dahulu i pernah cakap ngan my colleagues yg i takkan maafkan C (org yg penah buat jahat ngan i) smp bila-bila. Smp mati pun. My colleague jawab " Jgn mcm tu fynn, nanti bila dihisap kelak dan tinggal satu amalan je lagi utk kau ke syurga, dan maafkan org yg menzalimi kau akan tolong kau..." I tak faham apa yg dia cakap pada masa tu until i read this book- "Membina Hati Bahagia - Dr H.M Tuah"

Ada satu kisah dlm buku ni pada zaman Rasullulah s.a.w. Rasullulah s.a.w menjawab apabila Saidina Umar nampak Rasulllulah tertawa sendirian.." Ada dua org umatku yg memperhitungkan hak-haknya. Yg seorg berkata " Ya Allah, berikanlah hak-hakku yg dizalimi oleh org itu."

Berfiman Allah s.w.t " Berikanlah haknya yg telah engkau zalimi itu!"

Menjawab org yg dituntut itu dgn sedia, " Ya Allah, wahai Tuhanku. Sesungguhnya kebaikanku telahpun habis semuanya, maka tiadalah lagi yg dpt aku berikan kepada org ini."

Dijawab oleh org yg menuntut itu, " Oleh itu engkau mesti menanggung segala dosaku sebagai gantinya."

Berfiman Allah s.w.t kpd org yg menuntut itu " Angkatlah kepalamu dan lihatlah syurga."

Apabila dilihat oleh penuntut itu akan keindahan Syurga lalu bertanya " Apakah itu semua utk Nabi-nabi atau org syahid?"

Maka Allah s.w.t. menjawab " Itu utk sesiapa saja yg sanggup membayarnya!Engkau pun dapat sekiranya engkau mengampuni org yg menzalimimu itu."

Si penuntut itu pun memaafkan org yg menzaliminya. Maka Allah s.w.t. pun berfirman " Pimpinlah tangan org itu bersama-sama ke dlm Syurga itu."

Rasulullah s.a.w. pun pernah bersabda " Maka berbuat baiklah kepada saudaramu sesama Muslim"

Kita ada hak utk memaafkan tapi berapa byk diantara kita yg ikhlas memaafkan insan yg mengata kita, menzalimi kita... i pun tak tahu...I know myself..I know time heals but a scar tak boleh hilang. Sakit pedih bila ingatkan memori itu...perbuatan org itu...bolehkah i ikhlas maafkan dia and feel good about it?

Fikir balik apa my colleague kata mungkin ada benarnya. I hope i can try to be forgiving...

Macam-Macam MEmori

Ari ahad tak larat nak buat ape..i got this headache. berdenyut-denyut. so i ended up tido...tu pun tak nyenyak. Haqqeem asyik panjat badan mama je...hubby g melawat kubur arwah FIL ngan MIL dan adik dia.

On Monday, my hubby ask to pay his 1st installment for the 'babe'. So, me and haqqeem went out pagi-pagi lagi to pay ayah installment. Singgah ofis jap, then off we go to KL Sentral. I don't know other branch of AmBnk yg dlm bangunan. Sini tak panas and we were able to makan at kfc. Haqqeem happy sgt ngan mashed potato dia. He sit kat baby chair and talking to himself looking amazingly at the lights. Tgn menghentak-hentak. Happy tgk dia. Masa balik dukung dia, we took a cab. Dlm cab dia tgk je mama..tak tahu kenapa. Then dia tidor....all the way smp umah.

I love spending time with him...mcm ngan pak we...kelakar...ari ni masak nasi ayam. Semlm masak spaghetti..tak de lauk jadi bubuh cndwan je....Semua org dah tidur and i am blogging. sbb esok dah vowed nak buat keje..ta nak blog..at least smp petang..hehehe

I miss my real parents at dungun. Lama tak balik sane...kecil hati sebnarnya ngan mak. Ari tu masa dlm pantang mak tak nak masak. Dia suruh makan nasi semlm jer...MIL keluar ada urusan jadi bila dia balik tgk tak ada lauk dia pun masakkan...maaalu pada MIL. Anak dia yg dia tak bagi pada org dia jaga betul-betul. Byk lagi lah komen yg dia kata i tak pandai jaga anak...Bila hubby suruh mandikan anak dia kata habislah anak tu..lemas...i know masa dlm pantang i byk menangis...tapi kata-kata mak kandung tu kan umpama doa. Kenapa nak kata benda yg tak elok...Itu yg buat i tak balik. Telefon jugak sekali kala...

Hubungan i and my real parents tak de la rapat until 2 years ago....i was raised by my adopted parents in Ipoh. Sebab tu i selalu balik Ipoh. I love my family in Ipoh so much...especially my adopted father. Bukan senang nak jaga anak org...and to treat like your own...i know i tak boleh....

Thank you papa..for taking me as your daughter. To raised me as your own. Forgive me for all the heartache I've cause you. I love you and akak akan selalu kenang jasa papa.

....

yg tgh tu gambar haqqeem masa 4 bulan. Berubah tak muka dia. Yg tak berbaju tu gambar latest masa kat Ipoh last week.

Ramai org kata bentuk muka ikut mama..tapi iras ayah. Kalau bawak dia turun g kedai, tak yah cakap anak sape. Org tahu lah anak sape..tgk iras pun tahu. Dia dah besar ni sust sikit badan dia berbanding ngan dia masa 3-6bulan. Tapi still babam juge..heheh. baju dia skrg kena cari size yg utk 1thn - 2thn. Bagi dia baju 6-12 bln nye size tak muat le...

Ayah kata haqqeem ada bentuk badan mama. Kat mana tu hah...sendiri kena tau le..hhuhuhuhu... 

Have a nice weekend

suka keje hari sabtu...1st sebab tak bz..2nd jalan tak jem..kalu hubby tak keje pagi..leh antar...hari ni hubby antar ngan haqqeem duduk di seat dia. Kami baru beli kat Tesco masa balik Ipoh last week.

Harap-harap masa balik tadi dia tak lonjak-lonjak..Mcmana ek nak bagi dia suka dok dlm tu? Mama lekatkan mainan dia kat seat biar dia tak boring balik nanti.

Nak kena belajar drive lah macam nie...Malu ah kita ni kan dah 3* ++ pun tak tau g nak drive. Hubby bagi masa smp tahun ni utk b'jar drive. Nanti nak antar haqqeem g nursery mcmana? So terpaksa lah mama ni belajar drive utk haqqeem.

Bukan tak nak b'jar..tak confident....I ni jalan kaki pun kdg-kdg terlanggar benda inikan pulak nak drive.

Jap g nak balik..maybe hubby ambik kot. Dia balik awal. Dia tepon tadi tak cam suara...
Hidung ni meleleh lagi tapi rasa sihat sikit dari semalam. Lenguh-lenguh dah ok...Bila hidung berair..mata pun berair gak....

Ok...all have a nice weekend.

Tak larat...

Letihnya rasa hari ni...badan lak rasa lenguh-lenguh..hidung pun dah jadi mcm haqqeem dah asyik meleleh...Mlm tadi dah rasa dah tak sihat..Makan Panadol Actifast..Bangun pagi ni asyik bersin je...perut lak tak sedap...Lemah je badan..Alahai..baru nak baik. Ni kalau tak makan ubat ni haqqeem berjangkit le...

Tadi tghari telan Panadol Soluble..malas lak nak pegi klinik. Klinik panel jauh dari rumah...kalau dekat safe sikit tambang..nak pegi klinik bukan panel dan ambil time slip nanti HR tak terima lak...sbb bukan panel kecuali emergency....Ptg ni pulak hubby keje shif ptg..balik kul 11 mlm..jadi kena ambik haqqeem...tak boleh balik lambat. MIL ada agenda lepas maghrib. Haqqeem is taken care by my MIL.

Ahh..beli ubat selsema kat pharmacy je la...kalau esok tak ok...baru g klinik...;)

Semlm dalam tak sihat tu able to masak dan pureekan makanan haqqeem. Thanks to ummi yg bagi byk tunjuk ajar...except i don't have those tmpt ice cubes yg ada penutup..so i balutkan dengan plastic wrap yg lekat-lekat tu. I made potatoes, carrot and spinach granade.

Then esok, keluarkan letak dalam pan bubuh sikit hot water then campurkan dalam bubur nasi.

Tak yah tunggu lama untuk potato tu lembik...tak tau la haqqeem makan ke tidak....

My hubby tgk buat apa bubuh kan dlm tmpt ice cubes nih...guna tmpt buat ice cream lah...i said tak pe lah..nanti i buat experiment. Lagipun tmpt buat ice cream tu kena cari. (i don't even know that thing exists...tu my hubby yg beli masa previous marriage dia).,...

8.2.2004

Two years ago, on this date was my engagement. Byk yg berlaku lead to this engagement. I knew my husband 3 months before we got engage. How i know him? Hehe ..through e-kawan. You just register in this website..e-kawan..then register your handphone no. Your handphone no will not be disclose only your code will then you will get sms from who wants to be your friend. Byk jugak lah top up prepaid.

Masa tu I ngah frust menongeng, tergolek, terduduk sebab kena tipu....bila i jumpa dia..so i accepted his offer. ntahla...masa tu i bosan sesangat kawan ngan org..tak tahu apa ending..

My ex was same age as me...He has all the character that i ever wanted in a man...(cehwah, i hope he does not read this..kalau tak..perasan) Orang kata bila kita cari jodoh..biarlah saling melengkapi..he is opposite side of me..most of it tapi we share the same interest...main bowling,suka jalan-jalan and suka tengok bollywood movies...Bila ngan dia dulu, i never missed to see bollywood movies..hahaha..tapi skrg..dah lama tak layan cite bollywood...rindu lak...

What great about him is bila u feel down and wanted a booster..his word of advice can really turn u on..(bukan on lain tau..i mean motivate)..may be sebab dia pandai berkata-kata...sebab tu kot ramai perempuan suka kat dia....so masa tu he is like my strength...

Kalau nak ingat balik zaman bercinta dulu...byk manis dan pahit...i tried not to remember anymore.terlalu sedih..semua tu dah jadi kenangan...ada yg slowly buat i lupa ...now hanya tinggal bits and pieces...and i hope i am able to put him behind...

I hope my son takkan buat seorg perempuan mengharap pada dia..treat org baik-baik...jgn ambik kesempatan atas kebaikan org...

There are some good traits in him that i hope my son would have...tapi biarlah ia jadi rahsia hati i...


Kalau dibandingkan kehidupan i sebelum dan lepas kahwin.. I prefer my marriage life. Of chourse it is hard to live with someone yag di brought up dgn cara yg berlainan dari kita...tapi ntahla..i rasa lebih tenang...lebih selamat dari masa i single dulu...enjoy tapi tak de matlamat...Bila dah kahwin, ada anak..i know where i want to go....what i want my future life will be...

Sapa kata kahwin senag...eh..kahwin memang le senag tapi nak maintain bukan senang...especially if you compare yourself with others..and your previous relationship....takkan satisfied..sampai mati pun takkan satisfied...

I pun bukan lama kahwin ..baru nak masuk 2 tahun...tapi what i kept telling myself is to compromise and sabar...Sabar paling perlu..(mcm lagu P.Ramlee tu..heheh)...and to hold my touge bila marah...Kita tak boleh curah minyak pada api yg tengah marak kan...tu lah...bukan senang nak maintain kesabaran tuh...especially bila ada bad words yg involve...

Anyway..kita kena byk musahabahkan diri.....(that is what my brother always tell me)...tapi kalau tak tahan sgt...let the steam out..nanti meletup tapi jgn pada sasaran...tulis ke...channelkan pada benda lain...nanti rasa lega kot...;)

hadiah

Last sunday 5.2.2005, buat kenduri doa selamat. Masak Nasi kunyit and kari ayam. My hubby niat kalau haqqeem dah pandai merangkak nak buat nasi kunyit..so kena buat lah.



Tapi terjadi breakdown in communication between my MIL and my SIL. Dia ingatkan birthday haqqeem yg pertama. Jadi dia pun belikan haqqeem pool utk main-main. Tak pe la rezeki haqqeem dapat advance birthday gift...;)



Pool ni tak muat dlm bilik mandi so pasang kat living room. Habislah lantai mama kena mop balik. Tapi tak pe asal haqqeem happy. Air tak banyak tapi boleh le setakat dia main splash-splash bersama itik-itik dia. Mula-mula duduk..pas tu meniarap..hehe...tapi nak tiup pool ni bagi kembang...uh kembang kempis le jugak...i tak larat tiup...ayah yang tiup...



Habis mandi letih agaknya..tidur ngan ayah...kaki tu..agaknya ingatkan bantal peluk kot...tinggi tu nak peluk..tak sampai...

Gemini personality...

I wonder how haqqeem's personality going to be like when he is older...

His zodiac is Gemini..this is what I get from http://bayi.us/zodiak.php


Sangat ingin cepat keluar (mungkin si kecil adalah bayi yang mungkin paling sering menendang dengan kuat ketika dalam kandungan!).

** Mgkn juge sbb haqqeem dilahirkan 12 hari lebih awal dari due datenya....

Si kecil gemini akan belajar berbicara diusia yang dini dan akan membuat tanda yang akan selalu diingat yang dimulai dari hari pertama.

** Ayat yg di selalu cakap skrg..mamamamamam...mamamamama....



Si kecil Gemini mempunyai sifat keingintahuan yang besar dan seorang yang suka menjelajah dan mencoba hal baru. Si Kecil geminilah yang membutuhkan banyak stimulasi untuk membuatnya berbahagia mengingat. Si kecil gemini sangat mudah menjadi bosan.

** haqqeem now boleh tahu kat mana alif..ba..ta..i would ask haqqeem..haqqeem tunjuk mama mana alif..ba.. ta..then he would come from another room dtg kat fridge yg ada lekat huruf-hurf jawi..i was amazed..heheh..maybe dia tak tahu mana alif..ba..ta..but he knew where it is..adalah diantara huruf-huruf yg lekat kat fridge ni..hehe..nak experiment lain..nak beli ABC lak..then he knows or not to diffrentiate..nak coba le...

Kemampuan komunikasi si kecil akan sangat menonjol, maka hal penting yang segera dilakukan adalah membawa si kecil ini untuk mengikuti play group sesegera mungkin. Sedangkan dirumah, saudara dapat dengan mudah mengisi fungsi untuk membantunya berkomunikasi sebagai seorang teman! Tidak akan ada kata terlalu dini buat si kecil gemini untuk belajar berinteraksi dengan yang lain. Selain itu si kecil gemini juga akan belajar lebih cepat.

Si kecil Gemini tidak terlalu mandiri. Cukup bertentangan, ini adalah anak yang cukup bahagia untuk memainkan drumnya sendiri, serta sangat menyukai dan mengagumi proses tersebut. Yang mengejutkan, pada saat si kecil sedang tidak terikat melakukan sesuatu (tidak sedang berbicara atau bermain dengan yang lain) maka akan banyak melibatkan perasaan emosional tertentu. Untuk alasan tersebut, maka sebaiknya tetap mengusahan hal-hal disekitarnya tidak sulit dan lebih mudah untuk dimengerti si kecil dan sebaiknya untuk tetap menjaga ketenangan.
Secara umumnya, si kecil gemini adalah juru bicara yang cukup handal diantara teman-temannya di play grupnya. Memiliki kemampuan untuk memperhatikan tetapi sangat singkat (jadi buatlah mereka teap sibuk!). Si kecil gemini adalah salah satu balita yang pintar dan paling kreatif.


** balita tu apa ek? budak kot...

muka kelakar haqqeem

haqqeem skrg suka buat muka kelakar..diantaranya ialah :-







merangkak pun buat muka kelakar...

Sling carrier/gendong

 


I bought this from Ninuk. Remember earlier that i said i want to buy the gendong and i did. I received it yesterday and decided to give it a try. So I see myself infornt of the mirror. Do i look like what others supposed to look when wearing a gendong. I am not really good at it and my baby does look like he feels different...so may be give it time...but it sure is easy to put your baby in not like sling bag...

If you are interested in buying them u may contact sis ninuk at ninuknoviati@gmail.com or also view her blogspot at my fav. blog and see the pics. When my husband is around i will ask for his help to take my picture with the gendong...;)
and post it in my fotopages... 

Good Bacteria

 


Lactobacillus acidophilus is a "friendly" strain of bacteria used to make yogurt and cheese. Although we are born without it, acidophilus soon establishes itself in our intestines and helps prevent intestinal infections. Acidophilus also flourishes in the vagina, where it protects women against yeast infections.

Acidophilus is one of several microbes known collectively as probiotics (literally, "pro life," indicating that they are bacteria and yeasts that help rather than harm). Others include the bacteria L. bulgaricus, L. reuteri, L. plantarum, L. casei, B. bifidus, S. salivarius, and S. thermophilus and the yeast Saccharomyces boulardii. Your digestive tract is like a rain forest ecosystem, with billions of bacteria and yeasts rather than trees, frogs, and leopards. Some of these internal inhabitants are more helpful to your body than others. Acidophilus and related probiotics not only help the digestive tract function, they also reduce the presence of less healthful organisms by competing with them for the limited space available. For this reason, use of probiotics can help prevent infectious diarrhea.

Antibiotics can disturb the balance of your "inner rain forest" by killing friendly bacteria. When this happens, harmful bacteria and yeasts can move in and flourish. This can lead to vaginal yeast infections. Conversely, it appears that the regular use of probiotics can help prevent vaginal infections and generally improve the health of the gastrointestinal system. Whenever you take antibiotics, you should probably take probiotics as well, and continue them for some time after you are done with the course of treatment.



Dlm vitagen ada ni...jadi it is believed can help to cure my gastric. hehehe<taken from healthlibrary.epnet.com 

blog hopping

i like to read especially people's experience. It make u view life in a different way and also thinks that u are not alone in this world yg mengalim pengalaman yg sama.

hari ni perut tak rase sedap. Kalau lah perut ni jernih..boleh tgk apa yg tak kena..ini rasa tak sedap tak tau apa dia.

Haqqeem is not feeling well again. Batuk dan selsema. Ayah dia tak risau ke? I am risau kat dia...takut nanti kene pneumonia sbb selsema lama akan buat kahak dia byk. Haqqeem was diagnosed asthma. He doesn't know how serious is asthma can be to small infants. I had too but my father is health educated. He knows how to take care.

Sometimes I wish my life was different. All the what if's liggering along my mind..But i know Allah's knows best. Has been a long time since I feel happy with ****y. I only feel happy with my son and friends.

I read happily other;s people life who have an understanding ****y.And they are happily ******d. Masyaallah..i hope to be in their shoes one day.

Tak pe la...fikir pasal benda lain...fikiran yg negatif aklan melemahkan kita....

Friendship

 


Once in a lifetime u find friends
who touches not only ur heart
but also ur soul..

Once in a lifetime u discover someone
who stands beside u
not over u..

Once in a lifetime if u r lucky
u find someone
as i have found u

Very special people
we can be ourselves with
talk with
laugh with
hope with
and believe with...

I have very few good friends...my best friends Marini is from Kelantan. I have gone through life a lot with her. We met in 1991 at ITM Segamat when we were doing our Diploma. I've met and stayed at her house. When we were single, we share sad and sweet memories together. I called her everyday at her office and her colleagues would say i am like her boyfriend. Because I would call her and sometimes speak to her everyday. She is a nice person to be with. When she got married, I have trouble adjusting to her new life coz we could not see often. I can only speak to her over the phone. The funny thing is I even started browsing through internet looking for articles on how to cope with life when ur best friend is married..hahaha. Then I married a year after she got married. Four months later, i got pregnant ..so does she. Our children is the same age but only different sex.

next is my coleagues. They are very nice people. I can be myself. We take care of each other. That is why i lasted for 5 years. The reason i stayed is also because of them. But i know life has to go on and i hope that we will be friends forever even if i have to work somewhere else.

I really appreciate their existence in my life.For me, who u choose to be ur best friends has significant impact towards ur life. The decisions that u make in life sometimes depends on what they advise.

I am very fortunate to have met nice friends. They help me to grow up and shape my mind how to see my life in a different way. (Not to mentioned my father too)... 

test

i am trying new software (at least to me)...wonder how it looks like..best gak kalau jadi...

Bad news...

 


last night my hubby came back from his night shift and give me a plastic with avon logo on it. i thought apalah ada kat dlm plestik tu..rupa-rupanya ...sculpting cream...(sabar je la...dia perli aku ker ni..!!)

Then pagi tadi, my hubby tanya dah sapu ker? I cakap le lom g. Mlm nanti le...
Tahu apa dia jawab...ala sapu la pagi dan malam cepat sket...

Dalam hati ..aduh memang dia nak aku kecikkan ni...aiseyman....

at 1.49pm got sms from best friend : "Doc jgka my hubby can go 4 1 or 2 yr je lg. Kalau dia blh sampai 2 or his 43rd bday kira miracle lah 4 his case"..aku terkedu dengar. Telefon dia and try to comfort her. I emphatise for her. Anak dia sebaya anak aku. hubby dia disahkan mengidap dilated cardiomyopathy. I check maksud dia..ia adalah apabila jantung anda adalah besar seperti biasa dan akan membuat jantung anda tidak dapat berfungsi seperti biasa dan boleh mengakibatkan heart failure...

Itulah kuasa tuhan..kalau allah mengkehendakinya akan terjadilah...sekelip mata allah tarik segala kebahagian..kemudahan yg kita sedang nikmati. Satu tahun adalah jangkamasa yg pendek..mana sempat anak itu mengenali sape itu ayah....teringat ummu amir's blog yg aku baca..ada sebab allah pilih dia utk diduga....

Aku berdoa " Ya allah ya tuhanku...panjangkanlah jodohku, panjangkanlah umur hambaMU ini...dan orang disekelilingku..jauhkanlah kami dari penyakit merbahaya..." 

Most Beautiful Reality show on NTV 7

I was able to watch this programme tonite. Dah lama tak ikut tgk2 dah ada 4 finalis. And my fav person dah terkeluar jue. Before this i heard ako's GF is in the show tapi mlm ni baru tahu yang mana satu.

she seem so sad and ako was the one who came to pick her up. i pun kesian kat dia..it's not fair and mcm sayang je cara dia terkeluar..tapi kenapa dia buat mcm tu..there must be a valid reason. Dah nak final lagi bape minggu till next phone call. well, we all don't know what really happen that made her broke the rules...

anyway, finalis yg lain mcm tak gempak je..buat org tak de mood nak tgk ending...

Scan pics of haqqeem

 


Found this in my computer. This Picasa program from Googles is good. It can find all my pictures in the computer. Things that I myself tak tahu kat mana simpan. I have been looking for this scan picture when I first started blogging and haqqeem fotopages. Tapi tak jumpa. Guna Picasa barulah jumpa.

Above is Haqqeem scan. That was the first time I saw him inside my stomach moving. He likes to sleep sideways facing backwards. Patutla bila mak bidan urut I, dia kata baby pandang belakang. Betul...Masa tu tak tahu lagi what sex. I memang nak tahu and don't intend to make it a surprise. Senang nak beli baju. Only bila 6 months baru tahu. I scan kat UH and the doktor told me it is a boy. Tak kisah la...my hubby suka la dapat boy...He already had children from his previous marriage..2 sons and 1 girl...So this is going to be his third.

Bila fikir masa bersalin tu dan mula-mula mengandung, rasa cam tak nak dah mengandung...tapi bila dah ada baby dan ingat masa kita mengandung above 5 months tu...rasa cam nak mengandung balik../hehee ;)

Insyaallah kalu dimurahkan rezeki, I want another child. Tapi kali ni adalah experience sikit...Nak check up kat swasta lah..and kalau cukup duit nak bersalin kat swasta gak...bukan tak nak kat UH..tapi malas lah nak beratur panjang for the check up dan bila masuk check up tak pun smp lima minit...

Tgk la masa tu kan nanti..eh..eh terlebih lebih berangan lak...heheh 

Food Testing

 


Today at my workplace, Museum Restaurant & Cafe ada buat food testing. We are preparing new menu for next month. We are actually serving middle eastern food.

Well above are some of the menu that will be serve. 

My 7 mth old Development - by BabyCentre.com

 


1) Bouncing up and down

Your baby can now support some of his weight on his legs, and he loves to bounce. What's more, he's probably able to sit unsupported (which will free her hands for exploring), and he'll turn when sitting to reach a desired object. He may even be able to get into a sitting position from lying on her stomach by pushing up on his arms.

2) Learning to grab

Your baby's fine motor skills are coming along, too. By now he can probably scoop things up with just one little hand and transfer them from one hand to the other fairly easily. He may also be able to clasp his hands together and sip from a two-handled cup (with your assistance). Before long you'll probably notice the noise level increasing, not only because of your baby's babble, but also because he'll find out how much fun it is to bang objects together.

To encourage fine motor activity, place a toy just out of your baby's reach and watch him try to get it. If he cries because he can't quite get it, keep giving him relaxed encouragement — but not the toy. He's just venting frustration and will become more physically confident more quickly if you don't make everything too easy for him. After a few tries, he'll be able to lean forward to grab it and then straighten himself again. Of course, this will give him ideas, and he'll soon be rocking back and forth on his hands and knees and may crawl or repeatedly roll over to move about the room. Aid his explorations and mobility by dressing him in loose, comfortable clothes.

3) Teething

While your baby may already have begun teething (the average age is five or six months, though it can start as early as three months or as late as 12 months), about now you can expect to see the two upper central incisors, then the two lateral incisors. Don't be alarmed if your baby has gaps between some of his teeth; teeth often come through the gums at odd angles, and any spaces commonly disappear after all 20 baby teeth have broken through. Once your baby starts teething, you can expect more drooling and experimenting with sounds as he adjusts to having these strange new things in his mouth.

4) Testing your authority

By now, you may already have found yourself telling your baby that the telephone is not a toy. Or maybe in your house the reminders revolve around his tossing his rattle in your face. The fact is, at this age your baby may begin testing your authority by refusing to follow your directions or entreaties. When he pushes back, he's not being disobedient or wilful — he's just curious and simply can't remember things for more than a couple of seconds at a time. The best tactic is to use a simple no, then distract him.

5) The beginnings of separation anxiety

If your baby is anxious when he's away from you during the day, his concern will be compounded at bedtime. When he wakes up at night, even for a moment, he'll know you're nearby, and will be vocal about trying to get your attention. You'll feel torn between the strong urge to scoop him up and take him to bed with you and the voices of those who tell you that to do so is to spoil him. Don't worry: it won't hurt to indulge him occasionally — not always — by bringing him into bed with you. When the separation anxiety disappears, you can teach him to sleep by himself again. Of course, if you've opted for the family bed, you'll always be close at night.

Your baby's reluctance to be separated from you may delight you but may also frustrate you at times. In either case, it might help to load a laundry basket with his toys and move it — and him — from room to room so you can get the jobs that need doing around the house done while enjoying each other's company.

6)Recognition skills

Your baby now actively engages in hiding games and can remember that the jack-in-the-box pops up at the end of the song. He's also able to recognise different tones and inflections and may burst into tears if you speak harshly.

7) Figuring out how objects relate

Your baby's beginning to understand how objects relate to one another in three-dimensional space. He may be able to sort toys, grouping items such as blocks by size. And if he admires his reflection in a window, and you suddenly appear behind his image, he's likely to turn and look for you instead of believing that you're in the mirror itself.

If you've noticed that a simple game of peekaboo is absolutely fascinating to your baby, it's because he's also starting to understand object permanence and loves games where people or things appear and disappear. In fact, one of the easiest ways to keep a seven-month-old occupied is by hiding an object under a blanket for him to discover.

8) Stimulating toys and games

Your baby enjoys playing the same game over and over because he likes predictability. In addition to peekaboo (see above), try adding classics such as round and round the garden and patta-cake patta-cake to your repertoire.

At this age, babies also tend to gravitate toward stuffed animals, both big and small. Most likely, one will emerge as the favourite security object and will soon be covered in dribble and have to accompany you everywhere. When adding new members to your soft toy collection, look for soft, well-stitched stuffed toys that can be washed. Other good toys include balls, nesting cylinders, pop-up toys, and large dolls.

If your baby has a favourite plaything or two, you may start to realise that the expression "as easy as taking sweets from a baby" no longer applies. While it used to be easy to remove things from her grasp, you may now find her protesting loudly when you take toys and other things away.

9) Is my baby developing normally?
Remember, each baby is unique and meets physical milestones at his own pace. These skills are simply a guide to what your baby has the potential to accomplish — if not right now, then shortly.

And if your baby was born prematurely, you'll probably find that it will be a little while before she can do the same things as other children her age. Don't worry. Most doctors assess a premature child's development from the time she should have been born and evaluate her skills accordingly. 

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year Everybody!!!

My wish this new year is just to be happy and murahkan rezeki. Semoga dijauhkan dari penyakit berbahaya dipanjangkan umur dan jodoh. I don't know what will happen this year...but i hope for the best. Last year got haqqeem...and after that time goes by so quickly..

Yesterday, saje amik cuti nak g bank, dan nak bawak haqqeem jalan-jalan. Suka bawak haqqeem jalan sbb dia suka tgk keliling...pas g bank g mid valley. Ramainye orang tak tau nak cakap. G jaya jusco nak beli sling bag untuk dia. I think it's about time already sbb yg lama dah ketat dan tinggalkan kesan kat peha dia. (he is already 8.5kg). Ingatkan nak beli gendong tu tapi somehow i don't feel comfortable with the gendong. Furthermore, the girl said i need 2 to 3 times practise to use it. I am not good with my hands though. But maybe next month if i have money i will order one and try to use it. Anyway, i bought the sling bag yg boleh letak haqqeem pandang depan.

Petang singgah umah mak then bila nak balik saw my husband motorbike. awal lak dia balik. maybe because of the new year. Petang hubby ajak beli barang keperluan. Bwk haqqeem. Wah berjalan sakan dia hari ni.

Ni terjaga kul 12 because of too many mercun and bunga api goin' on kat kawasan ni. pas tu takleh tidor so decide nak tulis blog.

Anyway, I wish all happiness...