It's a boy...

I've done my scan yesterday. and the doctor told me that the baby is a boy. Tak dapat lah i merasa letak klip rambut pada anak..heheh..tapi tak kisah lah. at least haqqeem ada teman untuk bergumbal, tidur bersama, main tembak-tembak. ..heheh..i hope they will be best buddies like i am with my sisters....

Mcmana lah keadaan baby baru ni.previous delivery and post natal experience was not so pleasant...still haunts me though. I hope i can be tougher and know how to handle babies. Last time i had spent 5 days in the wad and i have problem handling haqqeem. I just don't know how to handle him and i was afraid that i might hurt him or do something wrong...I cried everyday sampai my hubby risau. He had to ask my friend (kakak kat ofis ni) to give me advice...hehe..thinking back i wonder how i can be so fragile. Rasa rejected, rasa down sgt-sgt..it was so unexplainable through words...

I remember the first time i held haqqeem. The nurse told me to speak to him. Call his name..to tell the truth i just don't know how...i feel akward calling his name..akward to speak to someone who doesn't know how to speak back...to hold him..nak cuci najis dia pun tak reti...

Sekarang bila tgk haqqeem tidur, i spoke to myself..dah panjang dah dia. dulu kecik jer..baju new born pun tak muat...seluar pendek utk new born jadi mcm seluar panjang...heheheh sekarang ngan perut buncit dia...kaki tembam...lari terkedek-kedek...hheheh kelakar..seronok tgk..he is my best remedy ever...cuma dia tak pandai nak cakap je...

Now...I feel so tired..kaki ni mcm tak larat nak angkat...lenguh je...panggil tukang urut tapi tak dtg pun. asyik busy jer...kat tempat kerja lak busy jer...asyik kena naik turun je...pas tu balik umah kena naik tangga lagi..ni baru 5 bulan...mcmana lah nanti....and the stress at tempar kerja mcm tak leh nak handle...kalau lah things is a bit easier....